sometimes things just dont feel as good as they should. END OF THE 12 WEEK TRANSFORMATION!

Well I just completed my twelve week transformation and have opted not to post the before and aftr pics for two reasons...first I cant figure out how to resize the picture from my email into a file that will fit, and second, I am pretty discouraged by the lack of difference in the before and after pics...

I started at 323 pounds and finished at 302, I lost 21 pounds, GREAT!!!
I started at
hips, 52 inches
waist 54 inches
chest 57 inches
bicep 14 inches
thigh 23 inches

I finished at
hips, 50 inches
waist, 52 inches
chest, 54 inches
bicep, 14 inches
thigh, 21 inches

I am thrilled to see the inches melting away, but I am pretty pissed off at those pictures.

I am not giving up, I am training harder, tweeking my nutrition and planning for bigger and better things, but I gotta be honest...

I am sick and tired of seeing this fat in the mirror and nothing else in the world pisses me off more than seeing the one thing that I CAN change about myself, stay the same!

I get pissed off at the evil in the world and the crime and the wrong doing, but I seriously hate my fat more! It is an obbsession, it controls ever decision and holds sway over every thought...Those of you with weight problems understand this, I know you do.
My weight controls my successes and failures, it prevents and provides, it saddens and hurts and is the single most destructive part of my being. Yes even more destructive than my big mouth! I blame myself for turning to food for my entire life, for not having the strength and courage to get out into the world and face my detractors, to face my demons and for shelving my true self and replacing "me" with burgers and shakes.
I hope no one reading this feels the way I do right now, but I know some of you do...
What, then can we do to change what we have done to ourselves?

Come to terms with it "all"~!~

We are in control of who we are and what we do, Finding the will power to stop the destructive patterns that keep us in our place of terror is the ONLY WAY to find our way to become the people we know we are way down deep.

Will can mean alot of things, the will to believe in ourselves, the will to seek help, the will to stop destructive behavior and the will to change.(not just the will to put the burger down, although that is important too)!

We were given free will, The choice is ours...

I gotta go work out...