A pretty important post! I wanna motivate you like you have motivate me!

What is one thing that you have learned about yourself over the past eight months of 2011?

What is one thing you have noticed that you feel that you did not feel at the beginning of 2011?

What is the name of one person that you feel differently about since January 1, 2011?

Now give three things you can leave behind you.

This is not a test; it’s not even a pop-quiz. What I want to do with the answers to these questions is to get you to see where you are, how far you have come and where you have to point yourself and the position you need to be in to move forward.

I have hit a road block over the past week. I know this because U2 is on my CD player, I have no fruit in the house and I am sleeping past 6am. (Not every day but most days)

I got a facebook message from one of my oldest friends yesterday that made me realize that this blog has made my journey more than just MY JOURNEY. IT has become OUR Journey and my motivation and my excitement is also some of your motivation and excitement. I am helping other people, especially those of you that know me or have seen my pictures, believe that they can do something about their own issues too. The person that messaged me is one of the most beautiful women I have ever known but she has some body issues since the birth of her last child that have been giving her trouble and she is motivated in part by this blog. That message lit a fire under my butt and re-motivated me to first and foremost kick my own ass, and then secondly, clean my act up and get back to work. So today I am deep cleaning my house, getting in a hard core work out, I’m going to go buy some fruit and veggies and get back on track. I plan on more and more posts and some re-posts from the past and I am renewing my commitment to everyone to be there again for them and their goals as they have been there for mine! This moment is going to PASS!!!

One thing I have learned about myself since 1-1-11… I’m not a bad looking guy, II am starting to feel attractive, and I have NEVER felt that, in my whole life. I deserve to be liked, even loved and I am going to promote myself more because of it!

One thing I feel now that I didn’t in 2010… I can still be whatever I want to be and I can STILL accomplish my goals. I thought life was nearing its end for me before and I don’t feel that way anymore. Its confidence and it’s pretty freaking spectacular!

One person I feel differently about…well that is a lot of people because I see that people treat you differently when they think you don’t care about yourself, but the one person I feel differently about is ME! I feel like I have a soul, like I have a future, I feel like I am worth knowing, worth loving and worth caring about. I want to know me, I want to Love me and I want to care about me, I have never felt like that before either.
Three things I can leave behind… At the beginning of this journey I would have said McDonalds, Little Debbie and Wild Cherry Pepsi, but as my food addictions weaken, I see some more important things to leave behind…

1. Fear, I’m not scared to move, scared to run, scared to be me and scared to chase my life.
2. Regret, I used to tell people that I never knew regret. The truth is I regret smarting off to my Pap-pap when I was 12, I regret lying to my parents about all the silly stuff I used to lie about and losing their trust as a teenager because of it, I regret not being there more for Cesalee, I regret spending so many years in limbo and despair over my son’s death. I regret weighing 420 pounds. I regret my regret. Now I can let it all go!
3. The 90’s, I loved my 20’s, I had the greatest time, the music the friends the beach the entire life was amazing, I made a lot of mistakes but I would not trade any of it…But I have spent most of my thirties trying to find my twenties again and I know that is never going to happen. I still have and will always have the love for my friends and I hope that they will always be there, but I really miss those days… A large part of my weight gain and my depression came from not understanding that I can never have those days back. They are gone and I am older and I have to move forward or wilt away…so 1990’s…farewell!!!

SO these are my answers, what are yours?

I have found that an evaluation period is good. I got some advice from someone recently that I needed to step back take a deep breath and look over things for a few days and make my choices with a clear head. I have done that and it was great advice, I am so grateful for advice like that.

I can’t let a stupid picture that I am disappointed in get me off my program; I shouldn’t misunderstand my slowed weight loss and interpret it as failure. I shouldn’t worry that a possible bounced check is going to ruin my life (long story). People understand mistakes, misinterpretations are a part of life and a picture is what it is. An IMAGE! If we don’t like our image, we should change it.

Well I have babbled on long enough. I hope I have remotivated you in some way, or when you feel bad or lost I hope you will refer back to this post and gain hope.

Stand up Straight, Carry your own weight and get going! We have places to go!!!!