Just BEGIN!!!!

Well, I am trying to figure out how to get from where I am to where I want to be…This is true for all of us, most of the time.
I am having trouble because I see where I want to be in life. I know what I want to do. I have the education and the knowledge needed to perform the tasks. I have an outline and a time line. I even have a drawing on a white dry erase board above my computer of my goal. I am having trouble though…I don’t know where to begin.
I am finding that with every goal on this journey, I have trouble deciding where or how to begin. I can have the best laid plan. Have my financial plans made, my design plans, business plans, diet plans, workout plans, and so on and so forth, but I lose the motivation to begin. I have always been desperately afraid of change. I stayed at a job recently that I was miserable at for almost two years before jumping ship and moving on. I am tremendously glad that I did, and even though it is going to take some time, my bank account and creditors will be glad I made the change as well. But I was scared to make the move.
I was extremely hesitant to begin practicing a healthier lifestyle. That was just pure laziness, but after losing over sixty pounds, and becoming more and more active, my heart and pancreas are thanking me now. But I waited a very long time with the threat of death looming over me, to actually make the change.
I will be thirty eight years old in September. WOW, thirty eight! 38! I have had a lot of ups and downs with my health and personal tragedies over the years, but at thirty eight I had really hoped my life would be more…solidified (if that is even a word).
I have spent a lot of time in my life, ever since I was a teenager, putting more attention toward personal relationships than with education and finance and material things. I thought, deep down, that I was being a better person than most, because I had such firmly rooted long lasting relationships. Then one by one, those people began to focus on the things that I was not focusing on. They bought nice homes, had nice cars, had money in the bank and were planning for their retirement. I was divorced, broke and homeless. I don’t regret being the person I am, I just wish I could have focused a little bit on me.
SO now I am finding myself in an awkward place. I am thirty eight, almost, and still trying to work out my life plan…
I wonder if any of you feel like I do. Have any of you felt the way I do…ever? Do you look at your friends and wonder if they look down on you for being poor, or for being alone, or simply for being different? Do you feel the quiet sympathy of others? Do you feel like your loved ones think you are wasting your life because you are inactive or overweight? Do you feel like you are alone or in a bad relationship because you don’t want to change?
I think the answers are much clearer than we think.
I believe I am alone right now because I am unhappy with myself, my weight makes me feel self conscious, my finances make me feel inadequate and my social quirkiness makes me feel unaccepted.
All of those things I just mentioned are in my head. If you feel the same about any of those things, than your head is full of crap too.
Our goals are obtainable. Our lives are changeable, and our paths can change if we allow them too. If we want them too.
My issue with my future is the same as everyone else’s. We all worry if we are on the right track toward our retirement. Some people are just able to do more about it than others. Yes it is true that we all make choices and some of those choices are better than others and some of those choices cause us setbacks. I have had more setbacks than a lot of people. What I need to remember is that every time I set myself back, I need to be sure not to set myself back even further by making the same choice again.
Do we ever work out our life plan? Do we ever become satisfied with what we have? Do we ever want to be content? I think the answer is no to all of these questions. All we can do is work toward our goals and when we reach those goals, we need to make new ones. The Journey never truly ends folks…at least I hope it doesn’t.
Finally, I want to hit on the “getting started” part of this post.
Every positive change in my life “began”. Simply put…it just “began”! You put one shoe one at a time take one step at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time one week at a time and before you know it, life is getting better. Just begin, if you had a sickening breakfast and lunch, take a nap, take a walk and start with a healthy dinner.
If you spent all of your money at the shoe store this week, then start putting your change in a jar everyday and then sit down and work out a budget that includes money for shoes each month. Set your goals and the walk the line that leads you to those goals every day…it is just that simple!
Just BEGIN!!!
I love you all! (Hope this wasn’t too random and all over the place)!