THANKS FOR READING!!!

I want to take a quick moment to celebrate the 2000th view of ROBIROBTHEBLOG!!!! Thank you to everyone that has been following, thanks for the support and for all the love!!!!!

I will be posting more soon, but wanted to make a quivk post about this huge event in my blog!!!

Turbulence Training Day 1!!!

WOW!!! My whole body is shaking!!! I am feeling every bit if that workout. the bird dog kinda kicked my butt too. No matter how out of breath I am right now, I feel oddly renewed and I also feel like I have accomplished something. I have been walking and lifting 8 pound weights for a while, but this was a nifty experience and I cannot wait until my next workout!!!

The workout took me exactly 20 minutes, and now I am getting ready to tend to the garden and make coffee and have my breakfast! Look what we can do in just 20 miutes!!!!

Hesitation!!! Then Realization!!! Afew more Exclamation points!!! Now let's do this!!!

ok folks, I am wide awake, the windows are open, light is shining through. My exercise mat is laid out, my workout plan is in front of me. Why oh why am i sitting here in front of the computer? There is a garden to water and yard work to do and a dog to try to train to catch a frisbie...I am still sitting here!

Hesitation is the worst thing ever, I believe I have touched on my need to hesitate in this blog once before. I swear hesitating is the biggest reason my time gets wasted!!! (well that and typing extra periods and exclamation points as one of my followers likes to point out to me).

Alright, Gaga is on the MP3 set on Judas and set to repeat, and I am getting ready to do this!!!

More later!!!

The Sacriest, most Humiliating Post I have ever posted!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone!!!


Well, today I officially became a member of the Turbulence Training family! I have entered a 12 week transformation contest and am super stoked about it! I have entered my stats as far as weight and measurements go so that the TT world can see me transform into the healthiest person I can be!!!
Here are my measurements for anyone that wants to know them…
Chest is 57 inches
Hips are 52 inches
Waist is 54 inches
Thighs are 22.5 inches
My biceps are 14 inches
My weight is 323.6 lbs.
I am a little apprehensive about posting my picture, it is humiliating, but that just tells me that I have a long way to go, so for all of you diehard supporters, I am posting what is probably the hardest thing I have ever posted, pretty sad considering how I have divulged my life story on this blog.

I will be working out with the support of thousands of other people that are members of the TT online community, my own trainer and two of my closest friends. We are all very dedicated to this and will need your support!
My workouts will be on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the first month, rotating two specific workouts. On Tuesday and Thursdays I will be training in intervals of different walking techniques, sure to be challenging.
I will rest myself on Saturday and Sunday.
I will be taking my nutrition to the next level, trading up most of my unhealthy “snack” foods with fruits and veggies and nuts, and adding tons of lean protein. I am beginning to see that the food we eat, while enjoyable, should be seen for what it truly is, FUEL!!!
There are so many things in life that we should be obsessed with, our kids, our pets, our friends, our personal and private goals, our health, NOT FOOD!!!!
So,as I embark on this new leg of my journey, I want to challenge all of you!
Starting tomorrow, Memorial Day, and continuing to each holiday left in the year, Plan on doing one activity that does not involve food, and remove one poor food choice connected with that holiday!
I am foregoing BBQ this year, I am going to grill some chicken and eat some veggies instead!!! It is going to be great!!! If I can do it so can all of you!!!
I will be updating my stats on here during the next 12 weeks but you will have to wait till mid august and the end of the contest before I will post another picture of myself. I want this to be a surprise (Unless I feel like I need some encouragement) !!!
SO get behind me peeps!!!!! And have a great Memorial Day, and thank a Soldier!!!!!

let's agree to be friends first, and debate second!

Hi everyone!!!
I wanted to talk a little bit about our ability to agree and disagree. The advantages and disadvantages of the different levels of agreement and the conflict that arises when people who agree to disagree just won’t.
Recently I became involved with a somewhat distant old friend that saw something on my blog and loved the idea behind it, but disagreed with the theory. Even though he had agreed that we both had our own opinion of the issue he began to get angry with the fact that I was experiencing better results than he had ever experienced and started to tell people that I was in fact not being truthful about my success, that is why I went ahead and posted my pictures the other day. I was going to wait to do that until I had reached a higher percentage of fat loss, but wanted to quell the issue, and I did.
My issue is not that I was being challenged, I am up for that. The issue is that because our philosophy differed he would not accept the possibility that we could both be correct. I am a firm believer that my “right way” might be very different from yours. I also know the truth of what is going on in my mind and body, so if I post an opinion, it is coming from the most trustful and honest source that I know…ME.
If we were all alike, and if we all agreed on everything, life would be rather boring. I don’t want to ever offend anyone, discourage anyone or provide information that negatively affects any of you. I just want to be held accountable for my own journey by sharing it with you. The suggestions I offer to you and the routines and disciplines I follow and adhere too, are all very new to me and at the same time, are working for me. If your results differ and if you are finding my post to be incorrect, let me know and let’s discuss it. There is a ton of information out there and lots of different resources available to help you begin your own journey. I am writing this blog, also, as a way to help share with people that might become inspired to join me as I begin and live with a healthier lifestyle.
Every day I am incorporating new ideas and strategies to aid in my performance. This week I have begun a workout regimen that includes body-weight training. I have supervised help with this. Next week I am adding kayaking and mountain biking to this lifestyle. I am using no supplements besides (also new to my program) protein powder. I am following strict guidelines provided to me by my doctor to insure I receive the proper nutrition through diet alone. I am off all medication excluding the occasional anxiety medication and am taking less and less of that.
If you want to discuss my methods, or if you want to debate the value of my opinion, please feel free to. I want to discuss this, it helps me, and I intend it to help you too.
This applies to ALL aspects of life. Just because someone disputes your opinion, just because someone disagrees with your lifestyle or if someone has made a comment that has offended you… Talk about it, be willing to agree to disagree and see it as an opportunity to respect and love without restriction. I love my friend anyway, we have discussed the issue at length, we have met over coffee to talk about where we both are on our journeys respectively and we are now closer because of it. We are also going to begin biking together next week (He approved this post btw). Don’t write someone off from your life because they have a different point of view, there is much more to life than that one issue, no matter how important that issue is to you. You will find life very lonely if you can’t compromise your need to be right for the sake of keeping someone in your life. ON THIS, IF YOU DISAGREE, YOU ARE SIMPLY WRONG
Love to you all and smile, it’s a great day to get outside and breath the fresh air!!!!

HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!

Today is a rainy, overcast, Friday in the muggy south. I have to work from 11 to 6 and I assume we will be busy…
Taking all that into account…I can’t wait to get to it!!!!
One thing I am noticing with each passing day is the excitement I feel for my life now. It’s a feeling I have not felt since I was in my twenties. I went out to walk the dog today, in the rain, and noticed how the rain was helping my garden grow, like two inches in 24 hours!!! I took a deep breath and realized how happy I have become.
Could all this exercise and healthy eating habits mixed with my new life attitude be the reason?
Am I really this happy? Maybe this is some kind of dream, maybe its euphoria created by some chemical imbalance. Whatever the case may be, I like it, and if I died tomorrow, I’d die knowing that I have found happiness!
My journey is not anywhere near its end and I am finding more and more overcome obstacles every day.
If any of you are questioning your lives right now, if you are struggling with your health and wellness, if you are battling illness because of your lifestyle, please, please, please(!!!!!!!) ask for help!!! Go to a nutritionist, see your doctor, talk to friends, talk to your religious leaders, talk to God, Get up off the couch and move…(off and running)!
I was 390 pounds, dying inside and out, on between 7 and 11 meds for blood pressure and diabetes, heartburn and constant headaches. Sitting on the couch watching an array of TV shows to forget my problems…Then I got up.
Go back over my past postings, check them out and ask me questions. I am not a doctor or a trainer and I have no qualification to give medical advice, but I can tell you what I am doing. I can tell you where to go and who to ask for help. If my response doesn’t answer your questions or doesn’t help, tell me and I can direct you to someone that can help…JUST ASK!!!!
Get out and enjoy this great day, I love you all!!!!!!!

contact me

Tell me what you think folks, I really enjoy hearing from all of you, I have been told today that I need to let people know my Email address more often. You can look at my profile and get my email, but here it is as well...

Robirob1234@gmail.com
Robmoore2@att.blackberry.net
and my facebook url is http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=hp#!/profile.php?id=1267691645

I really enjoy hearing from you. I try to touch on things we talk ab out, I have decided to keep the clinical and medical advice and opinions to a minimum because my only qualification is experience and I dont want you to depend on that kind of advice from me...
I want to hear about your journey too...I will tell you in a minute what I am doing and how I am doing it, so just ask...
LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!!

a new philosophy??? Make it your own!!!

Your own philosophy….

So how many times a day do you hear someone else say something that tries to motivate you?
Most of the time I bet, the person trying to motivate you uses a catch phrase, “YES, WE CAN!” and “A NEW DAY!” and “you can do it, we can help”. These phrases are designed to encourage us, motivate us and most of all, coerce us into believing the person that said it is responsible for the feeling we get when we hear it…
I want everyone to come up with their own “motto” or “catch phrase”. Essential to our survival is the belief that we have the ability to reach our goals. Our goals can be as simple as being able to wake up in the morning to believing that we can become the next Tony Robbins or George Bush (yikes)! Let your motto embody your journey.
Trying to come up with your own philosophy on your journey may sound a little daunting, but the reason I want you to do it, is because I want you to motivate yourself the same way I am motivating myself. If it doesn’t work for you, try something else. I have just joined a new training philosophy with the motto, “never, EVER give up” and that phrase is helping to motivate me, but I want to be encouraged by my own words as well.
My new philosophy rides upon my belief that I have been making the same mistakes over and over again in my life and they have never worked. Since the beginning of the year I have been taking my ideas and thought and reversing the ones that have been hurting me and sending me down the wrong road.
My new motto is “The opposite of wrong is right”. For every opportunity I have to make a bad decision in my life, I am now doing the exact opposite in the belief that I will have a more positive result. So far it is working, in all three aspects of my journey.
Mental; I am being more objective, I have more confidence, I am being more open and honest in all areas of my life, I am allowing myself to find happiness in activity rather than in sloth.
Physical; I am off the couch, I am exercising, I am awake, I am moving constantly.
Spiritual; I am revisiting my faith and asking for help with every aspect of my life. I am depending on the invisible hand on my shoulder to gently guide me to my destiny, I believe in what I have been given.
Everything I have been doing wrong, I am now doing the opposite of in order to gain a more positive result. That is my philosophy and my motto is now “the opposite of wrong is right”! What’s your new philosophy going to be, and tell me your motto! Can’t wait to hear from you!!!!

Where I was, Where I am, and Where I am going!!!

Where I was………
New Years Eve 2010. I was excited to have gotten off work a little early so I could go out to dinner with friends and then go to a new bar in Greenville to ring in the New Year with some of my best friends. After eating dinner at the Blockhouse in Greenville, I opted out of the rest of the evening and came home, watched TV and went to bed. Sad, tired and miserable that my embarrassment over my weight had kept me, once again from enjoying my life.

I was working a miserable job, complaining to everyone wanting others to hear me, but I would not help myself out of it.

I was struggling to pay my bills because I was paying McDonald’s $20 a day for food and BI-LO $5 a day for lil Debbie cakes. And buying $3 worth of sugar sodas per day. Roughly $28 dollars a day in food!!!! That was killing me slowly, well not so slow actually.

My skin was blotchy and my eyes grey with bags, my body smelled of rotting flesh and I had developed a yeast infection from my extremely out of control diabetes. My blood pressure was off the charts and I could no longer afford my blood pressure meds.

My home was dirty, not just my bathroom (I’m a guy, come on its common knowledge that without a spouse, we are just not that clean in the BR). For those of you that know me, I have reasons that I am petrified of germs and dirt, I know that I am not the all around cleanest person in some minds, but it was bad even by my standards.

I was waiting to die

Where I am now……..
I am going to dinner tonight with friends and I am meeting with another friend and fellow blogger to discuss my new workout regimen and diet plan. I am excited about the process and the road I am on too…No more running (well, walking slowly) away from my health and my life!
I quit the miserable job. I have found a better job that pays better and isn’t requiring that I work 50 hours a week to make $250 and pocket change for tips every day.
I am able to pay my bills, well I am getting there. I have plans for my home and my land, I have planted and am keeping up with a garden so I can enjoy my own fresh veggies and possibly can / freeze the veggies so I can save money and enjoy some pesticide free goodness all year round! I spend a total of $120 per month on food, grocery shopping weekly and making planned menus, that is a savings of over $500 per month, money I can spend on clothing and bills and my daughter. Little changes with big results!!!!!
I’m sleeping better, my eyes are less puffy, I am noticing clearer skin and nails, my gross skin tags are shrinking and falling off. The nasty BO is gone, the yeast infection has cleared up, The Diabetes is gone, the blood pressure is normal, and I am on virtually no meds!!!!
My home is cleaner, I have a puppy that I love, My daughter is a little less worried about me and I am feeling something I have never felt in my adult life…I’m Happy!!! HAPPY!!!!!!!!
It’s the most amazing feeling in the word, to know that your world is falling in to place and you can smile because you feel the success that comes from hard work! I am feeling more confident, I have tons of energy and I plan on being here for a long long time to come!!!!!
I am loving my life, my home, my family and friends, my faith and MYSELF!!!!!
I feel like I am saving my life! And my supportive followers, friends and family are helping very much!!!
Here is a pic of me from today.

I have a long way to go, but I see a bright light at the end of this long tunnel!!!!

WHAT I EAT!!!

I get asked all the time what I like to eat, So I thought I would share the foods I am eating and how often I eat. It’s working for me, my Doctor seems happy with the results and I think I am starting to get some looks from that someone special that I have been wanting to notice me too!
I eat the same breakfast EVERY DAY. Oatmeal, with two packets of Truvia. A banana and usually a yogurt. I keep my breakfast under 10 points for you WW folks.
Two hours later I eat a granola bar, or a rice krispy treat or an apple 2 points or less.
Two hours later I eat a hand full of almonds,5 points.
For lunch it is usually homeade tuna salad and a serving of crackers 8 points, sometimes I switch it up with Edemame and some yogurt and fruit and nuts, but I try to keep it under 10 points.
For an afternoon snack I stick with granola bars and fruit most every day, 2 points.
For dinner I splurge a little bit and eat between 6 and 10 ounces of lean poultry or fish, as many veggies as I can absorb and sometimes I choose no meat substitutes or a meatless lasagna, I have mastered an Eggplant Lasagna that has tons of sauteed eggplant and a few lasagna noodles and fresh crushed tomatoes, its amazing and I can share the recipe if you would like, it uses laughing cow cheese wedges fresh skim moz cheese and tons of fresh herbs!!! The dinners usually run me between 10 and 16 points depending on whether or not I incorperate a salad too.
For desert I have a yogurt mixed with some light whipped cream and a banana chopped up in it. That adds 4 points, I need lots of yogurt for the calcium and it helps me stay, well normal as far as the toilet is concerned.
I will end my day with a bag of normal, buttered popcorn, its seven points and is the perfect end to my day.
I end the day using 56 points, even though my target is 66 right now, but I save some points for miscalculation and accidental cookies that might sneak in.
So how are all of you doing this? What are you eating, are you sticking with the same types of food everyday like me? Are you trying to mix it up? If it is working for you…KEEP IT UP!!!!
More Tomorrow guys!!!!!

Walk it Challenge

I admit, I admit, I even disappointed myself. I did not attend the Walk It Challenge in Greenville today. I am sitting here thinking about some of my friends that are probably walking right now...Sorry folks, It was a very long difficult week, I had training for my new job, I had the death of a child of one of my oldest friends to deal with and last night I got a last minute invite to a dinner and show that I have been wanting to go to for months! So I decided to take today and have a ME day. I cut grass, played with the pooch, cooked a healthy and fabulous dinner (cheese soup with tons of broc and cauliflower, overloaded with artichokes and 6 ounces of chicken, I ate it ALL TOO!!! and it was only 15 points, btw)! And now I am sitting down to watch one of my all time favorite movies, and will be able to relax with some wine!

I wanted to make a few posts since I have been absent lately.:)

Just BEGIN!!!!

Well, I am trying to figure out how to get from where I am to where I want to be…This is true for all of us, most of the time.
I am having trouble because I see where I want to be in life. I know what I want to do. I have the education and the knowledge needed to perform the tasks. I have an outline and a time line. I even have a drawing on a white dry erase board above my computer of my goal. I am having trouble though…I don’t know where to begin.
I am finding that with every goal on this journey, I have trouble deciding where or how to begin. I can have the best laid plan. Have my financial plans made, my design plans, business plans, diet plans, workout plans, and so on and so forth, but I lose the motivation to begin. I have always been desperately afraid of change. I stayed at a job recently that I was miserable at for almost two years before jumping ship and moving on. I am tremendously glad that I did, and even though it is going to take some time, my bank account and creditors will be glad I made the change as well. But I was scared to make the move.
I was extremely hesitant to begin practicing a healthier lifestyle. That was just pure laziness, but after losing over sixty pounds, and becoming more and more active, my heart and pancreas are thanking me now. But I waited a very long time with the threat of death looming over me, to actually make the change.
I will be thirty eight years old in September. WOW, thirty eight! 38! I have had a lot of ups and downs with my health and personal tragedies over the years, but at thirty eight I had really hoped my life would be more…solidified (if that is even a word).
I have spent a lot of time in my life, ever since I was a teenager, putting more attention toward personal relationships than with education and finance and material things. I thought, deep down, that I was being a better person than most, because I had such firmly rooted long lasting relationships. Then one by one, those people began to focus on the things that I was not focusing on. They bought nice homes, had nice cars, had money in the bank and were planning for their retirement. I was divorced, broke and homeless. I don’t regret being the person I am, I just wish I could have focused a little bit on me.
SO now I am finding myself in an awkward place. I am thirty eight, almost, and still trying to work out my life plan…
I wonder if any of you feel like I do. Have any of you felt the way I do…ever? Do you look at your friends and wonder if they look down on you for being poor, or for being alone, or simply for being different? Do you feel the quiet sympathy of others? Do you feel like your loved ones think you are wasting your life because you are inactive or overweight? Do you feel like you are alone or in a bad relationship because you don’t want to change?
I think the answers are much clearer than we think.
I believe I am alone right now because I am unhappy with myself, my weight makes me feel self conscious, my finances make me feel inadequate and my social quirkiness makes me feel unaccepted.
All of those things I just mentioned are in my head. If you feel the same about any of those things, than your head is full of crap too.
Our goals are obtainable. Our lives are changeable, and our paths can change if we allow them too. If we want them too.
My issue with my future is the same as everyone else’s. We all worry if we are on the right track toward our retirement. Some people are just able to do more about it than others. Yes it is true that we all make choices and some of those choices are better than others and some of those choices cause us setbacks. I have had more setbacks than a lot of people. What I need to remember is that every time I set myself back, I need to be sure not to set myself back even further by making the same choice again.
Do we ever work out our life plan? Do we ever become satisfied with what we have? Do we ever want to be content? I think the answer is no to all of these questions. All we can do is work toward our goals and when we reach those goals, we need to make new ones. The Journey never truly ends folks…at least I hope it doesn’t.
Finally, I want to hit on the “getting started” part of this post.
Every positive change in my life “began”. Simply put…it just “began”! You put one shoe one at a time take one step at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time one week at a time and before you know it, life is getting better. Just begin, if you had a sickening breakfast and lunch, take a nap, take a walk and start with a healthy dinner.
If you spent all of your money at the shoe store this week, then start putting your change in a jar everyday and then sit down and work out a budget that includes money for shoes each month. Set your goals and the walk the line that leads you to those goals every day…it is just that simple!
Just BEGIN!!!
I love you all! (Hope this wasn’t too random and all over the place)!

So now what??? Take the next step!!!

What is the next step in your journey?

Do you think about where you are at each day? Do you make plans for your next goal each week or month?

Now that I have lost fifty percent of my weight loss goal, I feel it is time to get involved in a training regimen that will take me to the maximum achievement on my physical journey.
I have been looking at several different types of physical training, and with the advice of a trusted friend and professional trainer I have decided, and am announcing today, to begin Turbulence Training beginning May 31st. I am nervous about this as I am still tremendously out of shape and still trying to lose weight, but I cannot move forward on my journey if I am standing still!!!!!
Make some new goals that challenge you today, step out of your comfort zone!!
There are three different zones we operate in, Our Comfort Zone, Our Learning Zone, and our Terror Zone, when we are stuck in our comfort zone we limit ourselves to being complacent and content. When we reach our terror zone, we are too petrified to function to the best of our abilities, but in our Learning zone we find ourselves aware, attentive, slightly uncomfortable and completely motivated!
The trick to this zone theory is, figuring out how to tell which zone you are in. Once you figure that out, the trick is trying to stay within the parameter of your learning zone…How do we do this? The answer here lies within ourselves…
Let’s try and step out of our comfort zone in planning the next step in our journey. Let’s also try and push ourselves to make the change positive by focusing on healthy goals!!!
Let me know how you feel about the zone theory (not my idea, actually a business model that I thought applied nicely to my blog).
Love to you all, more on Turbulance Training to come!!!!! WISH ME LUCK!!!

RETRACTION!!!!!:)

Back in April I did some research on thermogentic foods, what the terms mean and what types of food are thermogenetic and what they do for our bodies. In trying to find a way to better relay the information I used a term and related it to the topic and totally screwed up...
Thermogenesis in relation to metabolism is a competely different subject than that of thermogensis in food. I learned by reading the blog of a respected friend and professional, that I had a misunderstanding of metabolism, like many people, and after doing my own research, I found out that he is absolutely correct.
The truth is, Food more than likely cannot increase your metabolic rate, and thermogenesis in relation to metabolism is concerning weight loss from non execise activity with caloric increase, compared to basal metabolism, or non active metabolism. I connected two totally different sciences to create a total misunderstanding of a third...Sorry Folks!I also want to make it clear that I do not think supplements like Ephedra are helpful in the long term as well as in the short term.
If you want to read more about What the Mayo Clinic has to say about Thermic Metabolism, go to the Mayo clinic link on my page, and search NEAT or thermogenic.
I am sorry if my lack of education on this subject confused any of you, I am learning myself, and it helps alot to have real pro's to get answers from. I do stick by what I wrote about lean meats and other foods I mentioned being Thermogenic, but only in relation to food and increased energy, not Metabolism.
I also agree when he says that supplement stimulants probably do little to help, and I feel they could be risky too...
Check out Daniel's latest blog Tru Health Quest, the link is on my page.

Bad days and good days

We are all gonna have bad days...Did you eat too much at family dinner today? I did!
I want everyone to remember this one thing from this day forward!!!

WITHOUT A BAD DAY EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE, WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, APPRECIATE OR VALUE THE GOOD DAYS!!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Getting to the root of the problem.

I had an idea of what I wanted my next post to be about tonight....But I told some people out loud and it sounded kinda dumb so I decided not to do it...
Then I realized that I am not always a very good speaker. I can almost always better relay my messages through text than through spoken word...
First off, I would like to say thank you to my friends Aaron Creech and Dean Sewell for sponsoring such a wonderful event tonight, it was much more cozier and low key than in years past, and even though I did not go to the city wide party and the after party, I feel like I was part of something special! Hopefully we raised alot of money for AID Upstate and the wonderful work they do for the HIV positive population who really need the help.
I also found out that alot of the people that have been reading this blog are people I didn’t even know were paying me any attention! What wonderful news!!!
After I mingled with the crowd, had a few heart to heart talks with some great lifelong friends, I decided to post the topic anyway. The fundraiser I went to tonight got its start in communities all over the country, small dinners with groups of friends to raise money to help people living with HIV and for research of the disease and to help find a cure. It has grown enormously over the years and helps finance the help that thousands of people receive each year!
Somewhere down the road, someone, or a few some ones, came up with this fundraising idea as a solution to a need for assistance to a very scary and usually taboo issue. People stopped asking the question “Is this a problem”? And then answering “yes”! They, instead, asked, “How do we fix this problem”? And people started to actually think about what could be done, and a solution was found. It may not be the perfect solution, but it worked and is continuing to work and could very well be the push that many people need to survive until things get better.
Isn’t that what more of us need to do? I have a friend that is going through a divorce, she cheated on her husband while he was fighting in Iraq, her entire family has abandoned her, her 16 year old daughter has literally tried to kill her and is facing jail time for it. Her new boyfriend has been accused of abusing her younger children, her life has spiraled out of control, and she constantly asks me a question and before I get to answer, she gives me her own answer (“Did I handle this wrong”? “Yes!””Did I make mistakes”? “Yes”!). She never wants to discuss what lead her to this point and she never wants to discuss possible ways out of the situation. I love her and we have been close friends for almost twenty years but the best thing I can do for her as a friend, for now, is listen to her, tell her I am here for her and wait for her to realize that she will never move forward until she analyzes what triggered the situation and what she needs to do to fix it. Yes and No answers are for people following someone else’s lead. Are you a Yes or No kind of person, or are you a person that knows the wherefore and what’s of your life…Think about that.
One thing I have had to realize about myself over the past few years is that I have always been a follower; I had someone to lead me and guide me in every direction. They held my hand and told me where to go, where to live, what to eat and who to like. I never once felt like I was miserable, I never felt that I was missing out on anything. These people didn’t force me to do anything. I forced them to lead me; I was not being held responsible, in my eyes, for anything that came of it, so I allowed myself to be driven by someone else.
Eventually the other driver runs out of gas folks…All of the people that I followed, moved on without me. They got married (or got the closest legal thing to marriage) had families (be it children, pets or both) and slowed down to a normal, consistent pace, and a comfortable happy life. Where was I, you ask? I was back at the car waiting for a tow truck. I waited and waited and waited.
Then I started asking those questions. “Am I alone? YES”! “Did they really move on and leave me here alone? YES”! For a little while I kept asking myself the same questions. I was getting fatter, poorer, more dependant and feeling less and less alive every day. I had gained so much weight that I was on blood pressure and diabetes meds and dying each and every day! Then something amazing happened. My mother asked me to go with her to a meeting at Weight Watchers and I did. I started to reevaluate my life. I started to make real decisions based on my limitations and my imagination working together to set real goals for health, mental and financial health. I started reaching out to family and friends that new things I was too afraid to know about my body and how it works. I started to learn new things everyday about my health, and I started to motivate others too! I started earning my own way and began to work on the credit I had destroyed. I began to see real results, feel real happiness and began to understand that motivation was a positive word, not a negative word used by people to describe what I lacked. I see that there are people that want to see me succeed and that they really care about me. I make my own decisions and am only influenced by the nature of my own goals concerning money. I notice more and more now, that everything I want for my life is attainable with a little bit of work and I am seeing the light at the end of this dark, dark time in my life…
Tonight I was reminded that my stories are not as specific to me as I thought they were. They are similar to a lot of people’s stories, and we all have been, at one time or another, in a similar situation. Our reactions and choices are what may have set those situations apart.
Let’s try and start evaluating the why’s and the what’s in our lives instead of confirming that which we already know, especially when it comes to the harder aspects of our identity. Let’s try and speak to others more often about our goals and what makes us smile and less about what other people think we should do. Let’s try to drive ourselves. The lyrics to one of my favorite songs are…
“ Lately I, am beginning to find that when I drive myself, my life is found. Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there, with open arms and open eyes”.
I think if we start asking the right questions, we just might get the right answers!
Love to all!!!!

The Fear and Food Connection

Yesterday was mostly a great day, Mostly.

Last night I was filled with fear and doubt over a situation I had no control over. After that we had a severe Thunderstorm that knocked down trees and cut the power at 2am. The wind was bad, so bad in fact that it reminded me of a hurricane. So, what, you ask,did I do? Well, I grabbed a granola bar and the jar of peanut butter and finished my day 12 points over my target, in weight watchers lingo, that is pretty bad, but forgivable.

I woke up today a little groggy, but started a new job that appears to be what I have been looking for. I am going to make more money right away, I am excited about the possibility of saving more money to complete one of my financial goals and simply had a great time with the people I will be working with.

The issue that got me so upset last night, turned out in my families best interest, and all looks to be ending better than it began! Today I am much more on target and tomorrow looks even brighter!

I found an excuse to trip and let my mental state control me last night. How often in our lives do we let irrational fear and hysterics detract from our goals? Do you let fear or dread keep you from going to work? To the doctor or to a family get together that might be awkward for us? Have you ever been scared of a dog and screamed as it ran toward you, just to be licked to death? I think fear is a good thing because it keeps our emotions flowing, it heightens our senses and feeds adrenaline. Fear also, unfortunately, can be hard to control (as I currently hear more thunder getting closer and closer outside). We have to find ways to confront (safely) our fears and we also must learn ways to accept fear as part of life. Most of all for me, we should find out what triggers our fear and what turns it into a need for food...I think what eventually saved me from the peanut butter last night was my five month old puppy that needed reassurance, he stayed relatively calm, but sat in my bed, balled up at my neck shaking til he fell asleep...(any parent or animal lover can relate, it seems we have an instinct to protect things smaller and younger). I would like to one day be able to stop myself from this pitfall, any suggestions would be welcome! I feel like we all just need to remember that things do change for the better, the sun always finds its way back out and the winds do calm down...Maybe I need to write that on my hand at night before going to bed during storms!

Anyway, this was a silly post, but I somehow dont feel like I am alone in my fear and food connection

Check out the newest post from Tru Health Quest...Daniel's giving away the secrets to his routine!!!

http://truhealthquest.com/

Some pics!

My puppy Cooper!

MY incredible and super smart and loving and accepting daughter!

My Mom and Dad!

Some Pics for you to see!!!

ME!!!

Me and My Dad and little Sister!!!

My Amazing and classy and beautiful Mom!!!

How do you measure your success???

How are you judging your success in life?
I ask this question, and I will ask it over and over again because it’s important.
Success has several definitions and almost all of them deal with hard work, perseverance and strong will and personal constitution…
For me that is crap.
Congratulations if you are rich, I am so happy for you if you are a political hero, I am thrilled you are a singer with many fans and boy oh boy I can’t wait to see your next movie…but in the end, did those experiences touch you as much as when someone tells you that you helped them from quitting something they needed for survival? Did they make you as happy as you felt when your Mom teared up when you surprised her by showing up unexpectedly for Christmas? How did those forms of success make you feel when you missed your son’s graduation, or when you flipped off the old lady driving too slow because you had a meeting at work? Did you your movie make you happier than the attention your celebrity gave to charity?
I measure success on my personal relationships. I miss out sometimes on things because I am not wealthy, and I can’t always afford to go see everything my daughter does at school three hours away, but I try. I would rather be poor and live under a bridge and know that I have been kind and loving and GENUINE to everyone I could. I have not always felt that way completely. I have talked a lot of junk and did horrid things to people in my past…But I have changed…I want you all to know that if you are more driven at work than you are with your kids, and you can’t stand still for a minute and notice your wife’s haircut, and if you can’t tell your husband how nice he looks in his suit…If you’re too busy to notice the smiles you receive from the people you come in contact with…Than I don’t consider you all that successful, I am single, I live alone, I am poor as dirt, I have few possessions, but I feel VERY VERY SUCCESSFUL because I have done far more work with the people in my life than with the money…Think about that for tonight and I’ll talk to you all very soon!!!!
Love you all!
Rob

What I have learned about carbs could help you too!!!

What are Carbs, How do our bodies use carbs and what happens when we eat too many carbs, and how do our bodies react to a lack of carbs….WOW, come on, I am a stylist what the heck is a carb. Do you know? well apparently it could have something to do with why I am fat, so sit back and take this in.
Serious questions about stuff most of us don’t understand and couldn’t possibly figure out on our own…
Too many carbs can lead to a variety of problems within our bodies, including, weight gain, Diabetes, and depending on our metabolism, fatty organs… So I feel it is important for us to figure out the answers to these questions once and for all, so that all of us can learn yet another way to make food work for us instead of the other way around….
It’s weird to me how some of the information we have known as “common sense” for years now, can go hand in hand with the information I have found from just doing a little research on the web. For instance; Carbohydrates are (simply put), biological compounds containing carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen that are an important source of energy for your body. Most of us already know that carbs turn into glucose (sugar). Too many carbs can raise blood glucose (sugar). If you are diabetic, the sugar that carbs produce can cause your blood sugar to rise dangerously. If you are diabetic, your insulin (a hormone created by your pancreas) production is impaired and insulin helps control the amount of glucose your body creates, naturally, therefore you should closely monitor your carbohydrate intake and stick to complex carbs like whole grains and brown rice, because it takes longer for those carbs to turn to glucose, and you can more efficiently work off those carbs before they raise your blood sugar…ok back to the definition, I seem to get off track lately.
Being made up of Carbon, which is the element that most everything on the earth is made of, and hydrogen and oxygen, which we need to live, it seems pretty obvious to me that we HAVE to have carbs to survive, Sorry Mr. Atkins. Now I don’t mean to say we should eat a lot of carbs, because if you go back to your life long knowledge of fat, you will remember that we are overweight largely because of the sugar we take in, there are other factors for some people, but if you are like me, yeah it’s sugar (I refer you to my affair with Little Debbie). Sugar is kind of like a carb turning into energy to be used later if it’s not used now. Does that make sense? Think about it, Eskimos need body fat to stay warm, and bears need to fatten up so they can hibernate, it’s when we eat to prepare for energy use later, and never use the energy that it turns to fat… the trick to carbs is staying within a healthy range of carbohydrate intake. If you are like me, tracking carbs will never happen, but the weight watchers points plus system keeps its eye on those carbs for you! IT’S AMAZING, and no I am not a paid actor, and this is not a commercial…Your doctor can best tell you how many carbs you should have per day, this program just works for me.
So did I cover everything…we are fat because we have stored energy from an excess of sugar/carbohydrate intake, and carbs are really really important to our survival, oh wait a minute I forgot something…………
STARVATION!
If you feel hungry, you’d better eat something, why? Well because when you feel hunger, it is your body’s way of saying, “hey Rob, keep it up and I am going to go into automatic fat storing mode and everything you eat will turn to fat”, I swear its true folks, part of the reason you plateau is because you are storing fat, it can happen to you even on the best weight management programs, but when you starve yourself your body starts to use your muscle as energy and when you finally do eat your body gets confused and stores the food as energy and that’s why you slow down your weight loss, if you starve yourself too long, well, you die…and that’s that…
I got most of the info here off my favorite website listed to the right; however I tried to make the info easier to understand. I did this research to help people, one in particular that I met today in my meeting and even if he never reads this, I hope he finds his own way to understand it. (Good luck Herbert). If my wording is wrong or misinformative, please contact me at robirob123@gmail.com and i will fix it.

Love to you all and keep up the hard work!!!!! ( and WOW, I should add the word carbs to my spell check, that just took forever to check)!!!

GO FOR IT!!!! YOU CAN REACH YOUR GOALS!!!!!

I have gotten pretty good at giving other people good advice. I have gotten pretty good over the years at making people feel good about themselves. I have also gotten pretty good at making people think I had things pretty well put together. I had made a career out of being “naive” and pretending to be a little ditzy so that people would not expect too much out of me. The truth of the matter is, I can give advice, but I can’t follow my own advice. I have nothing “put together” and I am not naive or ditzy. By most definitions of the word, I consider myself a lazy coward.
This year, 2011, I have changed. I have changed completely. I am following through with an eating philosophy I truly believe in, and am showing the courage to tell the world about it. I am not pretending that the decisions. I make are total accidents when I find out they hurt someone. I am trusting myself, being myself, loving myself and being true to myself. I am taking chances and risk I have never taken before, not to be dangerous, but to make my life better. You can’t move forward if you’re standing still!
I gave a friend of mine some advice a few months ago. I am not sure whether or not she will ever take the advice, but I have wanted to sooo badly ever since I gave it to her. She had this big choice to make and she is young and still has room to make mistakes, I told her to make the choice that scares her the most…WOW, Why have I never done that?
How many times have I moved back and forth to and from Myrtle Beach in search of a life more like my past? How many times have I stayed at a miserable job where I was mistreated and overworked, just to be underpaid and disrespected?
How many times have I said to myself, go get more training to do what you really want to do before I finally did it.
I quit my job this week. I made a few people really angry at me when I did it, even though I tried not to.(I was not referring to this job in the previous paragraph , BTW) I got a new job and I am making plans for what I am going to do next. I am making no apologies for the things I say and for who I am. I am taking my own advice for the first time in my life and not caring what other people say or how they feel about what I am doing…I have the courage of my convictions and whether other people believe in me or not, I am pushing forward.
When you began your latest “journey” toward your life goal, whatever it may have been, did some people laugh at you? Did they make you feel like you would fail? Did they tell you that you were not good enough? Did they change the subject and not get excited for you? Did they base your plans and judge your ideas on the success and failure of someone else? Most of us are going to answer yes to one or more of these questions by the way.
I think the reason these people are saying or implying these things is not because they want you to fail, it is because they care about you and want you to be sure that you know what you are doing, They also want you to succeed and perhaps want you to be prepared of things are not as rosy as they might appear to you. Personally I love the people in my life that try to open my eyes this way…Here are a few more questions for you…
Do you let the things people say discourage you? Did the laughter make you ashamed of your plan? Do you believe them when they say you can’t do something? Do you get scared when you hear of other peoples failures? Did you let the subject be changed? If you answered NO to these questions, then you are passionate enough to work toward your goal, and you will regret for the rest of your life if you give up.
Finally there is something I want each of you to seriously think about…
Are you educated enough, on the subjects you need, to follow through on your journey? Are you strong willed enough to take the good days on your journey with the bad? Are you ready for the setbacks, whatever they might be, that may delay your goal? ARE YOU WILLING TO FIGHT AND WORK HARDER THAN YOU EVER HAVE FOR WHAT YOU TRULY WANT? If you answered an excited YES to these last few questions than I want you to follow these simple instructions right now!!!!
1. YELL LOUDLY!!!!! “I am going to try no matter what anyone thinks!”
2. Make your plans clear to yourself and make a reasonable timeline for you to meet your goal.
3. RUN, DON’T WALK AS FAST AS YOU CAN toward the finish line, CLEARLY FOCUSED ON YOUR GOAL!
4. FORGIVE YOURSELF AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO TRY AGAIN IF YOU DON’T REACH THE GOAL YOU PLANNED. Remember, failure is a training technique for success!
Whether you are trying to lose weight, like me…Trying to advance your career, like me…Trying to become a healthier person in all aspects of your life, like me…trying to be a better parent, son and friend, like me…or just trying to have a better attitude, like me. Your journey is your own, your goals are your own…MAKE THEM, OWN THEM, REACH THEM!
LOVE TO YOU ALL and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

How is your plan working for you!!!

SO how are you doing on your new Eating plan? Are you losing weight? Are you communicating with your Doctor? Are you getting any exercise? Are you eating three meals a day? Six? Six and some snacks? Have you seen successful results at the scale? Have you been tracking what you eat down to every last lick? Have you been weighing in at the same time every week? Are you getting your daily recommended allowance of food? Are you drinking enough water?
The funny thing is……The wrong answer to any of these questions could adversely affect every other question. Also, each question can have different answers for each of us. The fact is that due to the differences from person to person, only you and your doctor can properly answer these questions and work out a proper routine or program so that you can achieve the best results for your fat loss program.
Here is how I am doing it, this program is working for me and while I recommend this program to everyone, please check with your doctor to see what will work for you. I started with Weight Watchers. I go to meetings once a week. I love it, it leeps me accountable and the other people there are SOOOO supportive! (Plus they read the blog)
First of all, I have a strict belief that being a type A blood type, (believed to be the oldest blood type) I am suited for a vegetarian food plan. I am not a vegetarian; I just cut out as much red meat and pork as I can. I eat poultry and fish, and pork on occasion and in moderation, but I stay away from beef and try to avoid red meat whenever possible. Since I began cutting out the red meat I have noticed a more normal bowel and less discomfort and irregularity.
I avoid dairy with the exception of cheese and yogurt. I eat a ton of yogurt, sometimes 6 per day. It calms my Irritable bowel syndrome and really satisfies me. I use it to make healthy deserts and as snack throughout the day. Milk however is quite irritating to my stomach, so I avoid it.
I eat lots of Tuna salad, wheat thins and granola bars…oh and popcorn too.
I avoid pasta, potatoes, bread, white rice and dry cereal.
I eat oatmeal every day for breakfast
I eat every two hours, even if it’s just a piece of fruit. (You know I love my bananas)
I don’t drink anything with sugar, and I sweeten only with truvia or equal.
I love steamed veggies and there are no limits to the amount of fruits and veggies I allow myself as long as I stay within the USDA recommendations for servings of fruit and veggies.
I walk every chance I get, I move whenever I can, if I think about getting up to do something, I go ahead and get up and do it.
I sleep when I am tired and make myself get out of bed when I wake up; I believe too much sleep leads to depression.
I am dedicated to freeing myself of ALL meds. I have been taken off of my diabetes meds and BP meds as my weight loss has freed me from those diseases!
I weigh every Tuesday morning, pre-food
I have seen consistent weight loss for 17 weeks now. (But will forgive myself if I gain a small amount). My total fat loss is 60 pounds in 17 weeks, so something is working.
I stick with the same foods every week. I do not get bored, My doctor and sister, ironically, both told me that dogs go their whole loves eating the same food, when you change it suddenly, you introduce digestible food that their bodies aren’t used to, resulting in the runs! GROSS!!! Humans should, theoretically be fine eating the same foods consistently.
I now make my own food every day, I do not frequent drive thru windows. I have stopped buying frozen dinners (even the ones that are promoted for my diet plan contain MSG), for example. My favorite food is Lasagna, most of you know that. I now make my own healthy version with two servings of lasagna noodles, mushrooms, crushed tomatoes, eggplant, sometimes artichokes and spinach. I use laughing cow cheese instead of ricotta. Per serving the lasagna I make is only 6 WW points per serving and is twice the size as the 7 point frozen meal that my program offers, and I know what’s in it.
Want a nifty replacement for ice cream? Take banana cream yogurt or your favorite flavor and mix one cup of yogurt with one small tub, yes a whole small tub, of fat free cool whip and freeze it. The consistency is a little different than ice cream, but the taste is phenomenal and the whole tub is only y 10 points, AMAZING!!!!!!!! (I am off subject, sorry)
I do not force myself to drink too much water. I drink a good amount of water and sugar free drinks, but too much of ANYTHING can hurt you.
Everything I eat gets logged; if I lick it I count it. I am allotted a certain amount of points and I do not go over those points. (If you want to learn more about the points plus program and weight watchers hit the link to the right of the page).
Talk to your Doctor before joining any weight loss program and investigate the programs that supply you with their own food, make sure you aren’t filling your “body in transition” with lots of additives and preservatives that could cause problems down the road.
Plan your eating out in advance, don’t let the server leave bread near you and enjoy the company of your table mates and stop dwelling on the dinner!
No matter how you change your habits, the temptation will always be there. So remove yourself from situations where food is the focal point, just like an alcoholic would avoid a bar, and don’t let yourself give in to the hype that it’s ok to give in this once and cheat days are just that, CHEAT DAYS….Don’t cheat, you can add some carbs once in a while or protein or foods with capsaicin, to boost metabolism, but n my opinion cheating is counter-productive. (MY OPINION CAN DIFFER FROM YOURS, IT’S ALLOWED)
Good luck this week friends!!! Let me know if this helps at all!!!!!

MY 'It Gets Better Video'

It Gets Better! STOP THE BULLYING

Wow, that is all I can say…
I have been blogging about my life, my journey and my mental, physical and Spiritual Health for several weeks now, and the support of this blog has been amazing! This week was a stressful week as you all know, but Tuesday night I saw a commercial for a website that moved me so much and inspired me even more! This commercial, during Glee, was the unveiling of the Dan Savage, messenger / Trevor Project and Google Chrome with You Tube sponsored ‘It Gets Better Project’. www.itgetsbetter.org is the website.
We all have a responsibility to stop or help to stop bullying! Speaking from someone that had to endure it for many years, at the hands of some of you, WE HAVE TO STOP THIS!!!
Here is a little bit of my story, I am not telling this story for pity or tears, even though it is still a deeply rooted and emotional pain I feel every day. I am telling this story to PISS YOU OFF!!!!
Whether you are Christian or not, old or young, male or female, Gay or Bi, or Transgender, Lesbian or straight, Democrat or Republican, YOU HAVE ALL OBSERVED BULLYING IN YOUR LIFETIME! I have had enough and I am demanding all of you stand up and help to put a stop to it! (Some of you OWE it to ME)!
In 1984 I was 11 years old. I moved to Spartanburg SC and spent my Jr High years here. I move away shortly after the starting high school. I am very thankful that I did too, because I would have killed myself if I had stayed. I was scared every day that some jerk football player would call me Fag or gay rod, push me in the hallway, trip me or cuss at me because I was a little feminine.
My parents never knew, my best friends, 2 girls, were sympathetic and told me they loved me but they knew I wanted to kill myself. One of them went to their mother and she told my friend that maybe she should stay away from me.
As I got older the name calling got worse. My friends were older now and I had some new ones that also become aware that I had problems, I started using drugs…They didn’t know how to help or what to do, so they backed away from me, leaving feeling even more alone, They even used my problems as an excuse to their parents to stay out late, that in turn made their parents hate me. Then I moved to North Carolina where I had learned to control my femininity and got involved with more drugs and the wrong crowd. I missed my friends from South Carolina so I called them every day, introducing my parents to new stress….HUGE PHONE BILLS.
The abuse stopped when I started to hit and punch people who said bad things about me. They in turn just said the bad stuff to others instead of me.
Then the unthinkable happened, I remained a pretty nice guy, but I would have problems with rage, and I was also eating as much comforting junk food as I could afford, as well as smoking a lot of pot and using cocaine without anyone in my family knowing just how bad it was, and how angry and close to death I truly was… But I also began to bully people I saw as weak as well. I singled out my younger sister, something I regret and lose sleep over to this very day. I lied to my parents every day, ran away from home and stole things.
Before I continue, there is one person I said something to one time when I was a senior in high school that I have wanted to take back since I said it, I have dealt with guilt for saying it to her every day since I said it especially because she forgave me instantly and is to this day a dear friend who is mourning the loss of her mother because it is so close to Mother's day. “M” you will never know how I hurt myself for hurting you that day.
I had become the bully, and the person that caused the same kind of pain I had been feeling my whole life.
I still allow people to make accusations about me that I do not confirm or deny. But I do not tip toe around other people when they hurt me. I do not want anyone else to feel what I felt every day of my youth! I stand up now when people are treated unfairly and I will not back down from the cruelty. I do not bully since that day in 1991 when I hurt a friend that was in no control of her situation, she was moving slow and it inconvenienced me, so instead of helping her, I told her she needed to be in a special school. I use the guilt from that to fuel my anger at bullying. (She probably doesn’t even remember it)
So today I added my own video to the ' it gets better project' WWW.itgetsbetter.org It does get better
There is help out there and if you know someone that is a bully, be it your own child, you parent or a local kid at the Bi-lo…STAND UP AND SAY SOMETHING!
Here is my video….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1HHySRxzFY

The Kids are gonna be alright!!!!

Do you remember being a kid? Do you remember how we always felt that our parents did not understand us? Remember how old we thought they were? Do you remember that our problems were larger than life and no one could possibly understand? Do you regret, now that you are older, retreating to your bedroom every free minute you had?
When we begin our teenage years we are becoming more individual, we are looking for our own voice and we are growing into the adult we will become. We did not want our “know it all” parents to hover over us because we needed to find the person we will become on our own. We never in a million years thought that they could truly understand us, because the things we are going through were so much more severe than what our parents went through…right????
Our kids today are faced with things we never had to deal with, a serious lack in privacy, constant social networking and tougher education guidelines at school. Kids are just as cruel to each other and the stress over the future, over boy and girlfriends, over health and over college as well as bullying are overwhelming! So what can we do as “the parents” that may not be able to relate to our kids? I have some ideas that might help (this is how I maintain my relationship with my daughter)….
I listen to my daughter. Everything she says to me, I absorb. I never tell her she is wrong for feeling something; I never get angry at her for her feelings. I try to coach her when I can and I give her a “guys” point of view when I think she is getting confused over the “player” guys out there.
I never judge her for her decisions. If I disagree when she says something I make sure that she understands my reasons for the disagreement. It’s hard to hear what is going on in your kid’s life without wanting to become more involved, but be cautious not to be too pushy or too forceful. Let them figure out who they are.
I try to remember that this is not 1990 and what I thought was opened mindedness back then is normal now, and I have to remain open minded about everything she tells me.
She shares her dreams with me and I try to encourage and nurture those dreams, but I don’t depend on them yet. I remember my dreams and how they changed over time.
I don’t get upset over hearing she likes a guy, I try to relate and offer advice, but I never get angry when she doesn’t take my advice, Teens have to learn on their own and it doesn’t help when a parent stands over them saying” I told you so” and “that’s what I told you would happen”.
I am lucky enough to be close enough to my daughter to hear the sad stuff too. When she is hurting and worried she tells me. She is very guarded with me about ME though. If I upset her she gets quiet, and when I worry her, she doesn’t say a thing, so that is one thing I would like to change with her.
My point to all of this is this, If you want your children to live a healthier lifestyle, and to be closer to you, you have to talk to them, include them in your life, be honest with them above all else, tell them what you want for them and ask them what they want for themselves. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, when you do, let your kids know you did and that it’s ok to make mistakes and hope they learn from your mistakes…My daughter knows my darkest deepest secrets and she loves me anyway, has no judgments and is still my friend as well as my daughter. We have a mutual respect for each other and we talk almost every day whether it’s by phone, text, facebook or Email .I include her when I see my friends and hold nothing back when they are around. She knows about most of my mistakes and she has tried to avoid similar ones in her own life. She calls me to tell me how her day went and text me with a “what’s up” almost every day. She has a very independent relationship with God and is extremely faithful, I am very proud of this as well!
Do you have this kind of relationship with your kids? Do you feel like it’s dangerous to be close to your kids? Do you feel like your kids won’t respect you if you are close?
My daughter knows that there are no rewards for bad behavior. She doesn’t expect our closeness to be an excuse to get away with things. She is not an angel, but she is my angel…
Try and get closer to your kids, whether you know it or not, they depend on you for more than financial reasons. They believe and depend on your opinion and desperately want you to be proud of them. They will listen when you tell them about your feelings on drugs and drinking. They trust that your mistakes are learning opportunities and they will fight to uphold your values when they are challenged. They will act in the manner in which they were raised, so be careful not to raise your kids to hate. They will act out if they feel they can’t tell you something, so be careful to have an open mind enough to accept ANYTHING they might want to tell you, if you react poorly you might be surprised to learn that studies show you are creating a bully. Have the courage to be the kind of parent that puts the kids first above all else, JOB INCLUDED (I am very serious, don’t work yourself to death to get rich if it means less time for your kids…poor kids are happier than rich ones). And have the courage to let your kids see you standing up for things you feel are wrong! It might just activate them to become involved themselves!
I have much more to post but I have some things to do today so I will be back later with more….
LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!!

Forgiver and forget!!!

The last week of my life has been pretty hectic. I have been busy at work, working outside of work, and just yesterday I logged almost 1000 miles on my car driving all over the state for several different reasons costing me close to a $1000.00 as well.
Stress has been the name of my game for the past week. I tend to become a little crazy when it comes to stress and that's when I over-eat!
How do you handle stress. Do you over-eat, obsessively work out, clean like a fool?
I eat, and over the past week, I did just that! I did however manage to loose 3 pounds putting me at the 60 pound mark of my journey. I am half way to my goal and expect to encounter more stress as I get closer. Give me some ideas that can help me avoid eating to much when I stress out. I would love some pointers.
So many of you are probably wondering what my stress was about. Here is a list of my stresses over the past week.
1. Dr.appointments...I have, as many of you know, a pre-existing condition that could possible reoccur as it is a chronic cancer. I have to have bi-annual tests and a very painful bone marrow aspiration, as well as seven viles of blood and bone and CT scans. I had to drive to Myrtle beach and then to Charleston SC (twice a year) for these tests, then back home to be at work today with a hole in my leg the size of a peanut and pain the size of Mount Rushmore.
2. Child Support...because I have to pay for my blood work and scans and aspirations up front, I had to put off my child support last year. My support is now paid in full and in advance, but last year it got a little behind. The court wanted me to show cause. When I arrived at court my case was dismissed because the fine and support had been brought current and I left with no incident.
3. My bills and job situation...I am working in a salon that I love, with people I respect and adore. I have been there for a year and a half, and even though it is in an area of the state where people automatically think negatively of me for being a stylist, and a man, I do love the girls I work with and have come to really love my clients.
My bills however are not being paid as quickly as they should and I am spiraling (especially after forking out close to 1000 big ones for my day of tests and courts)out of control. I am working outside of my job to make extra money doing hair, and other things, to get where I need to be. The bottom line and point of this issue is this, I am drowning, and the only person that can change it is me...(more to come in coming weeks about that.
4. tiredness, if that is even a word. I am sleeping less, working more, driving too much, struggling to get all i need to get done, and trying to be, husband and wife and father and friend and son and stylist and blogger and inspiration and motivation to others, and lately all I want to do is sleep.
5. Fear...of going to jail for being behind on my support to my ex-wife and dear friend, who depends on me to help take care of our daughter. Guilt, for the same thing...Sadness over the life I have allowed myself to live for the past twenty years...petrification, of being told that my cancer has returned and that it is advanced. (thankfully, i am fine and the tests were just routine) and finally, humiliation that I had to burden my friends and family with all of these things that were completely my fault (to which I received a ton of help, mostly from my folks)
I think the trick to dealing with these types of stress, (and no the answer is not XanaX, although it can help)is to forgive myself. Look back over this post and read about what I have typed...these are all things that have happened in my life that I blame myself for...Some I am responsible for, others are in the hands of my creator. Some I can fix and control, some I can only accept and learn to live with. but in all of these things, the simplest way to move forward, is to just forgive myself.
Have you ever forgiven yourself? I know we expect others to forgive our misdeeds. I know we want to forgive others for theirs too. How often though do we forgive ourselves for the things we do to harm our health or mental stability.
Lets try to wake up evety day smiling, no matter what is going on, let's be thankful to be alive and take whatever is coming our way, if it knocks us down, get back up, if you eat to much of something, get back on track tomorrow, if you tell it off, ask for it to forgive you.
Have a happy Wednesday, more to come then!!!

long busy week

Wow time has been flowing fast!!!!
I have had alot going on, some good and some bad! I have not forgotten about the blog folks, I will be back with a few new posts on Monday afternoon and evening. I want to discuss more about emotional eating, stress and how to help our kids live a healthier lifestyle. I am researching motabolic rates in children and some of the different WW programs that can help us live happier, healthier lives. I also will be sharing with you some of my ups and downs over the past week in an effort to keep everyone up to date about my journey and to hopefully help you with yours.
Smile Everyone, its Sunday!!!!